I had one more very important event in my childhood.
My whole family was at home, and they were very busy making food for the family. Out of the blue, I started vomiting, and it just got worse and worse. My mom put me into bed, and I was laying there in my PJs on with this childish innocence, and on and off vomiting. Then it became so bad, I started vomiting bile; it was horribly bitter and greenish yellow in color. I felt a kind of doom when I was vomiting bile. Even as a child, I was wondering how it could become even worse than that. After that, I didn’t remember anything. I don’t remember falling asleep. I just didn’t remember anything after that.

When I opened my eyes, my mom was sitting next to me on my bed, and was caressing my feverish rosy cheeks. I felt a lot better. It was the later hours of the afternoon already. My mom told me that I was delirious, and that I was speaking at one point out loud. I became frightened when she said that. Because she had no idea that I had a huge ongoing crush on someone we all knew. I was just about 11 years old, and the ‘boy’ was 23. It was all platonic. The guy didn’t even know about it, unless he saw it in my stares sometimes. I had longed for mature souls. I didn’t like silly boys, I was not intrigued.
I was devastated; now that’s how my parents and everyone else is going to learn! that I was in love with someone. I could not even utter the question that was on my mind. What could have I said? How much could have I spilled? For a few seconds, I was just laying there, like it was the end of the world.

I still felt the fever lingering in me, saw the love in my mom’s eyes, and then she gently said: “ In your delirium you yelled out: “My God, please don’t leave me!” As soon as she said that, I was in an awe and a shock at the same time. I completely forgot about the boy, and my feelings, and my fear of spilling information. I was in a complete awe that I was talking to God.

I never forgot about this event. But the real meaning of this just came to me after I met God and started thinking about this little happening. Why would have I talked to God in my dream in the first place? Why? Unless God appeared to me? I was not raised religiously by any sense. The very little things that I knew about God was not enough to translate into my dreams. My sudden, out of the blue sickness was odd though. I don’t remember eating anything that day but I was vomiting. And vomiting bile puts the whole thing into a different level. My gallbladder had always been sensitive as a child.
Did I cross over to the other side for a little while and my parents didn’t know? Why was I sleeping so long all day that I just awoke in the afternoon? They were very young, and I don’t think they could assume that any complications could have happened with my gallbladder issues. It could be tricky even for doctors to diagnose it.
Why was that immense longing in me that I felt right after my mom told me what I said and how I was yelling out to God not to leave me? Just as if suddenly I remembered the feelings part of something extraordinary happening but I didn’t remember the happening itself. Probably, God was visiting me that afternoon but He covered all the happenings from me. After this, I got completely healed and I didn’t have the gallbladder problems anymore.

This event put God in the front row of my attention like nothing else would have. I had established a very deep emotional connection with God that day. That I never forgot up to this day.
As mysterious as it is, I think I completely understand it by now.